Countdown

Janus is the Roman God of beginnings and transitions. He looks both ways at once and I feel a kinship with him. In July, when i thought about August, I wanted to slow down the speed of its arrival.  I knew August would slide through my fingers. Now in the middle of August I feel more like Janus.The face which looks back is looking hard. It's trying to remember each detail because it will never be quite this way again. My daily routine is marked by mini farewells. I said goodbye  last weekend to rising at 7 to wake up the farm. Picking up Butch the farm cat and preparing myself for when i wont have his sleek form to keep me company. And  realizing this weekend is my last one in the States. These little goodbyes are steps for the last goodbye which is 8 days away. There is no way to put on the brakes. I must look forward.

Sunday sale

Heading into a new adventure requires a battle with the past. The past is first bundled, then boxed up and  finally scattered on blankets with pink price tags on a friend's lawn. I recently saw Wendell Berry speak in Seattle. He read a story about a family's  farm put on sale. There is a moment when the narrator talks about the divorce from the objects once they are put out for bid. Cutlery and dishes, intrinsic to the daily life, suddenly became something apart. And with these new eyes, these objects  just look tattered and not your own anymore. Sitting in the safety of the chair with the box of change on my lap, all those books, clothes and trinkets become once more just things. There is something magic and strange about that transition.

This yard sale is the start of a new shedding. A departure from my beloved grey Washington with its magic light at the end of August. Look at how lovely and strange it is:

I've spun the wheel once and Budapest and The Central European University is where it begins. Where it will take me.... we'll find out.